Archive for April 2012

The Illness Idol

April 16, 2012

There are many books, articles, websites, resources and suggestions made available to cancer patients.  Some are helpful; some are not, but all take time!  More than once, I have become frustrated with how the “cancer issue” has rudely thrust itself in front of me.

Illness is an idol that can engulf all my waking time and attention.  It can breed self-absorption and suck up all of my limited strength, attention and energies.  It entices and lures me with different voices.  It challenges me to study it and figure how I can increase my odds at “beating” it — while bankrupting my attention to the One Who is worthy of all praise, and distracting me from His work.    It suffocates and would choke-out my interest and desire to serve God with my limited strength.  This has led me to the following prayer.

“God, deliver me from this preoccupation.  I want to be a wise steward with the life and breath that You so graciously give, but I don’t want pursuit of life and breath to dominate my life.  My life is Thine.  You are in control and will preserve my going out and coming in, according to your will.  My efforts to micromanage my life in an attempt to preserve it are of no avail — unless You so choose to deliver me.  Keep me constantly in your care.  Preserve, or take my life, as You so choose.  May I not be unwise or a poor steward, but please deliver me from preoccupation with trying to preserve my own life.  May I seek You alone, and your will.  Please, please, put in perspective the amount of attention I should give this albatross, and don’t let it take from me waking hours that should instead be focused on You and your will.”

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