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1Corinthians 15 caught me by surprise today…

January 25, 2014
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About a month ago my 86 year old father felt winded and fatigued in spite of generally having had good health except for a weak heart and feebleness in his legs.  On January 4 he went to the ER because he was then feeling some pain in his abdomen.  A CT scan revealed that there were issues in his lungs and liver, but the doctors thought his most immediate need was for his gall bladder to be removed. When that procedure was done, it was discovered that his liver was much worse than the CT scan had revealed.  It was completely overtaken by cancer. The Lord took him home two days later, on Thursday, January 9, and the funeral was last week.

So, 1 Corinthians 15 caught me by surprise today as I read it as part of my daily reading.

Now if Christ is preached, that He has been raised from the dead, how do some among you say that there is no resurrection of the dead?  But if there is no resurrection of the dead, not even Christ has been raised;  and if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is vain, your faith also is vain.  Moreover we are even found to be false witnesses of God, because we testified against God that He raised Christ, whom He did not raise, if in fact the dead are not raised.  For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised;  and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is worthless; you are still in your sins.  Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied.
But now Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who are asleep  For since by a man came death, by a man also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive.  But each in his own order: Christ the first fruits, after that those who are Christ’s at His coming,  then comes the end, when He hands over the kingdom to the God and Father, when He has abolished all rule and all authority and power.  For He must reign until He has put all His enemies under His feet.  The last enemy that will be abolished is death.” (1Corinthians 15:12-26 NAS)
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These verses were an encouragement as I reflected on the loss of my Dad from this life and the fact that I miss him, and on the fact that since he belongs to Christ, he too, will rise again.

Events in the last three weeks have kept me from having time to post here or on Facebook.  I haven’t had the heart or interest in posting light or trivial things, but today I am reminded and encouraged afresh that death is not the end.  At age 40 my Dad put his trust in the Lord and wrote the following in an open letter in 2001.  Hours before he died, on Thursday afternoon, Jan 9, he asked us to pass out copies of the letter to every one who came to his funeral.  We did.

If You Die Today, Where Will You Be Tomorrow?
 
            The tragic death of so many in the September 11 th World Trade Center disaster is a reminder that we each face the certainty of death, and along with it, an eternity in either Heaven or Hell. We do not know when death will take us, but it will take us. I’d like to tell you about my views on death, Heaven and Hell.
 
            In my late “teens” I did not believe in either Heaven or Hell. I believed that when I died I’d be buried and then decay into dirt and dust and that all remembrance of me would fade away. This anticipated eternal future didn’t bother me since I was an optimist and didn’t expect to die till I was older anyway. God was just a word in my vocabulary.
 
            In my “twenties,” I studied a little bit about the “atom,” its structure, the way it works and the fact that we cannot see it even though everything was made out of atoms. I also studied a little bit about the universe … its size, its beauty, its design and its orderliness, along with its total predictability and the fact that it too was made out of atoms, which we cannot see. I developed a strong belief that there had to be a God of creation to make all these things that I could see. I knew that these things didn’t just happen all by themselves.  My God however, was not a personal one. He was just the creator of all things.
 
            In my “thirties,” when I pondered the depth/shallowness of my belief, I concluded that the Bible was a good book but that it was nothing else. I did not believe in its content, its miracles, nor the story about Jesus Christ being the Son of God, born of the virgin Mary, nor that He died for my sins and rose from the grave on the third day. However, I did believe that the Bible was a good common denominator for all “races” to show us how we are to live good, clean, moral lives. Without the Bible, our world would be utter chaos. Even at this stage of my life, I still didn’t believe in Heaven or Hell.
 
            In May 1967, at age 40 (again pondering my beliefs), I realized that if my God could create and control all those incomprehensible things that I can see, accept and believe, He could easily create the virgin birth of His Son, Jesus Christ (a fact that I could never believe previously), just as easy as flicking His little finger. Slowly, within two to three weeks, I began to believe that Jesus Christ did die on the cross of Calvary and shed His blood as a sacrifice for my sin, that He rose again on the third day and now sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty, interceding for me. I then received Him as my Lord and Savior and have followed Him ever since.
 
            One day each one of us will stand before God. If He asks the question: “Why should I let you enter Heaven?” What would you tell Him? It’s important that we know the answer. I’m still a dirty, rotten sinner who never has been, nor ever will be worthy of anything better than Hell. However, I am a sinner saved by Grace. I have never done anything nor ever will do anything that would merit Heaven. However, that’s where I’m going when the Lord is done with me.
 
            You can decide whether you will go to Heaven or Hell when you die. The information regarding how to make that decision is clearly explained in the enclosed pamphlet titled, “Have You Considered This?” Please read it, pray about its applicability to your life and act accordingly, keeping in mind that: “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).  And Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me” (John 14:6).
 
            God bless you as you ponder and pray about your eternal destiny.
 
                                                         Bill Buchanan, Dec. 3, 2001
                                                         RememberGodAlmighty.com

The Folly of Forgetting in Times of Tranquility

November 29, 2013

Two years ago I was diagnosed with colon cancer. One year ago, at Thanksgiving, I gave thanks that my colon cancer surgery had been successful, my six months of chomotherapy had ended, and there were no signs of cancer in my post treatment blood tests, CT scan and colonoscopy. Last week I had my latest check up, and there continue to be no evidences of cancer, for which I thank God. The Lord has taught me much during my pre-surgery, surgery, and treatment times.

Everything has gone very well for me. The surgery went well; there were no complications in the days and weeks afterwards. The chemo treatments went well, and I did not experience the more unpleasant side effects. However, regretfully, over some of the intervening months, I found myself casually, and a bit materialistically, thinking, “You have the surgery, you do the recommended treatments, and everything turns out well.” Such thinking was foolish, naive and presumptuous! [It doesn’t necessarily follow that “you have the surgery, you do the recommended treatments, and everything turns out well” — as many can testify! ]

Recently I was convicted by a passage in the book of Deuteronomy, chapter eight.* In a context that emphasized evidencing fidelity to God by obedience to his commandments, Moses cautioned the Jewish nation to “remember,” and not forget God’s commandments, and what God had done for them. Three times, Moses told them that God had intentionally “humbled” them and “let them be hungry,” while at the same time meeting their actual needs of food and clothing, so that they would learn that those seemingly needful “things” of life were not needed as much as they needed God (vv. 2-5, 16).

Then they were reminded that the blessings of tomorrow would come from God (vv. 5-10). But they were also told not to forget God when they had “eaten and were satisfied” (v. 12-14ff.), and not to presume that their fruitfulness was solely the result of their efforts (vv. 17-18).

“Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’

You shall remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth . . . .”

Deuteronomy 8:17-18 [ESV]

These verses convicted me of my foolishness, naiveté, and presumption. I do not live in the physical world solely by my strength, or abilities, . . . nor by what medical science can accomplish in its strength. It is all of God. The outcome of my surgery and chemotherapy treatments were all of God, and my good checkups are all of God. Just as it was God who gave me strength while going through the trial (cf. Deut. 8:2-6), it is “God that gives power” during later times of blessing. Whether to be fruitful in one’s life, or to be healed, it is all of God (cf. Deut. 8:11-18).

In a sense, it was easy for me to trust in God as I was going through the diagnosis, surgery, and treatment periods. God was humbling me and putting me in a position in which I had no alternative but to trust in Him. But as the days, weeks and months of good checkups went by, my initially theocentric (God-centered) perspective was subtly influenced by a materialistic one, one that contemplated, “You have the surgery, you do the recommended treatments, and everything turns out well.”

I realize, in consequence, that times of blessing can be more dangerous than times of trial because, like the warning for the Children of Israel, in times of blessing we can “forget God,” think that the present tranquility comes from the power of our own hands, and forget that all blessings come from God and that “He gives the power.” For a while I was, in a sense, tripped by the “folly of forgetting in my time of tranquility.”

Thank you to all who have prayed for me and my health situation over the last two years. God has graciously chosen to bless me with healing. I pray that in all my ways I may “acknowledge Him,” whether in times of trial, or times of tranquility. Moses’ warning was insightful. It is so easy to call on God when in trial, but to attribute success to material efforts, when really, all successes come from the hand of God.

“In all your ways acknowledge Him . . . .”

Proverbs 3:6a [ESV]

*Deuteronomy 8:1-20 [ESV]

1 “The whole commandment that I command you today you shall be careful to do, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land that the LORD swore to give to your fathers.
2 And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.
3 And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.
4 Your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these forty years.
5 Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the LORD your God disciplines you.
6 So you shall keep the commandments of the LORD your God by walking in his ways and by fearing him.
7 For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing out in the valleys and hills,
8 a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive trees and honey,
9 a land in which you will eat bread without scarcity, in which you will lack nothing, a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills you can dig copper.
10 And you shall eat and be full, and you shall bless the LORD your God for the good land he has given you.
11 “Take care lest you forget the LORD your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today,
12 lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them,
13 and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied,
14 then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery,
15 who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock,
16 who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end.
17 Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’
18 You shall remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day.
19 And if you forget the LORD your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish.
20 Like the nations that the LORD makes to perish before you, so shall you perish, because you would not obey the voice of the LORD your God.

Remembering God in the Stream of Life

July 31, 2012

Arthur Bennett once wrote:

“I have seen the purity and beauty of thy perfect law,
the happiness of those in whose heart it reigns,
the calm dignity of the walk to which it calls, yet I daily violate and [condemn] its precepts.”

The Valley of Vision, 1975, p 70.

I would imagine that Mr. Bennett wrote with a desire to walk in fellowship with God, and yet he recognized there were times he didn’t.  I live in that world.

In the morning, while I have my quiet time of reading the Bible and praying, I have a desire to walk with God, honor Him, and do his will during the whole day.  If I picture my activities of the day as being a stream, I see myself sitting on the edge of the stream as I read my Bible and pray.  When I am done, I step into the stream of life and begin walking, following the course of the stream.  Walking in a stream one has to pay close attention to the stream bed.  Sometimes there is sand, sometimes muck, sometimes pebbles, sometimes rock ledge, sometimes shifting rocks covered with slippery algae.  One has to concentrate on the stream bed, the current, and the flow of the water.

As I sit by the stream bank, I am full of resolve for how I will walk in fellowship with God, but as I step into the stream of life, immediately I find that I am preoccupied with not slipping off that stone, not losing my sandals in this muck, not sliding off that slippery rock ledge.  Or, in my real world, I am preoccupied with answering this email, making this telephone call, running this errand, etc.  I find myself totally having forgotten my earlier resolve to glorify God in my life as I step from one slippery rock to another.

This brings me to pray, “Dear God, as I step into the stream of life today, help me to remember You, your Lordship in my life, your worthiness of worship and praise, and your desires for my life — as I interact with my family, fulfill my responsibilities, run my errands, and have opportunities to point others to You.”

Like the poet, my heart’s desire is to please God, and let his perfect law reign in my heart that I might walk in dignity before him while navigating the Stream of Life.

The Illness Idol

April 16, 2012

There are many books, articles, websites, resources and suggestions made available to cancer patients.  Some are helpful; some are not, but all take time!  More than once, I have become frustrated with how the “cancer issue” has rudely thrust itself in front of me.

Illness is an idol that can engulf all my waking time and attention.  It can breed self-absorption and suck up all of my limited strength, attention and energies.  It entices and lures me with different voices.  It challenges me to study it and figure how I can increase my odds at “beating” it — while bankrupting my attention to the One Who is worthy of all praise, and distracting me from His work.    It suffocates and would choke-out my interest and desire to serve God with my limited strength.  This has led me to the following prayer.

“God, deliver me from this preoccupation.  I want to be a wise steward with the life and breath that You so graciously give, but I don’t want pursuit of life and breath to dominate my life.  My life is Thine.  You are in control and will preserve my going out and coming in, according to your will.  My efforts to micromanage my life in an attempt to preserve it are of no avail — unless You so choose to deliver me.  Keep me constantly in your care.  Preserve, or take my life, as You so choose.  May I not be unwise or a poor steward, but please deliver me from preoccupation with trying to preserve my own life.  May I seek You alone, and your will.  Please, please, put in perspective the amount of attention I should give this albatross, and don’t let it take from me waking hours that should instead be focused on You and your will.”

Hospital Doors

February 28, 2012

On Wednesday, while waiting to leave the hospital for the drive home after surgery, I sat on a bench near the hospital doors and watched the many faces coming in.  I had come in through those doors a half dozen times in the previous month.  I reflected on the thoughts that had gone through my mind each time I had walked through those doors.  On December 27, right after my diagnosis, I wondered about this hospital, the doctor I was about to meet, and what she would say and find out about my cancer.  During one visit, because I had fasted in preparation for a procedure, I wondered how soon I could eat lunch and what I would like to eat when I could.  During another visit I tried to make sense out of the very conflicting results I was getting from various tests, and wondered what the doctor would find that day.  I was back a couple of other times too, but when I came through those doors on February 2, it was for the surgeon to perform a colectomy to remove the section of my colon where the cancerous ulcer was found.  In my heart, it was my desire for God to be glorified in my life that day, but I also wondered what this experience would entail for my family and me.

That Wednesday while I waited for my ride, I wondered about each of the faces coming through the doors.  Some were the faces of medical professionals, coming in for a day’s work.  Some were patients.  Some were volunteers.  Some were family members of patients.  Doctors with stethoscopes and briefcases walked in next to chemo patients wearing knit caps.  Volunteers hurried by husbands who were carefully pushing their wives in wheel chairs.

I also realized that for a moment in time, the hospital doors framed together strangers who knew nothing about each other.  As I looked at the faces walking by, I realized that they were not looking at each other.  They all were preoccupied.  They all were wrapped up in their own concerns, anxieties, plans and daydreams.  I realized that I had been equally oblivious of those who had walked through the doors beside me each of the previous times I had entered.

Life does the same thing.  It frames me together alongside strangers that I don’t even know.  I, in my own little world — they, in theirs.  In Matthew 5, Jesus presented the picture that His followers were to be influencing and providing light for their world.  I don’t naively believe that it is my responsibility to personally interact with “everyone” who “happens” to walk through doorways next to me.  But I am challenged to consider, when in a moment of time life “frames” me next to others:   “Do I, in that passing moment, pay attention to, or care, or speak to them about what is on their hearts?”  How many times am I “in my own little world,” thinking my own private thoughts, without a thought or a care for that other soul who God has providentially arranged to be right beside me?

Jesus said:  “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.  “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”  Matthew 5:13-16

Life Events versus Life Processes

February 24, 2012

I want to thank all of you who were praying for me as I underwent surgery for colon cancer on Thursday, February 2 at Roswell Park Cancer Institute in Buffalo.  I was discharged on Tuesday, February 7 and went back for a follow up appointment on Friday, February 17.  I understand that medically speaking the surgeon believes he removed everything that he needed to in order to minimize the probability of the cancer spreading (i.e., part of my colon and the attending lymph nodes).  However, I realized that night after my surgery, and the next day, and the next, that although the surgery was behind me, there were definite “mile markers” which the doctors and nursing staff were looking for as they monitored my body’s recovery.  Colon resectioning was not as simple as cutting out a piece of PVC pipe, gluing the two ends together, and returning everything to “good to go” condition again.  I realized that every one of those “mile markers” were important.  Besides being mindful of the actual “plumbing” repair, the doctors and nurses were constantly watching for blood clots, increased temperature, swelling, blood pressure, nausea, etc.  Diet was restricted and only incrementally changed until eventually I was (more or less) back on a full diet again.  What struck me was that I went into the surgery thinking a great deal about the event of surgery, but not much about the process of recovery that would come afterward.

Events call attention to themselves.  They are often specific.  Unless they come as a result of an accident, they are often “planable.”   They can more or less be represented as “points in time.”  A person goes through an event, but then it is past, and he/she “moves on” with his/her life — even if the event was life changing.  But processes are different.  They tend to be ongoing.  They don’t have clear-cut points of termination.  They may be measured by various mile markers, but they have linear characteristics.  My surgery was an event.  It took place on February 2. But by that evening, the event of surgery was over, and I had entered the process of recovery.  Over the next three or four days the medical staff watched for various mile markers to indicate that the healing was progressing, but none of those markers were worth “writing” about.  Yet at every point, if the recovery hadn’t proceeded as it should have, there would have been a concern because something was wrong.

Processes are harder to remember.  I would suggest that many who have lost loved ones have found sympathy and support at the time of the funeral, however they may not have received as much support as they went through the grieving process in the following days and weeks and months.   Events are “rememberable” by others, in that it may be easier for others to remember and express concern, offer prayers, or reach out to a person at an “event” time of his/her life, whether it is a surgical procedure, death, or accident.  But the process of building (or rebuilding) that comes afterward may be forgotten by those who were so supportive during the difficult moments of the event.

Two days after surgery I wrote:

“I am finding that it is harder for me to deal with the process than the event.  Surgery was a one time event.  I prayed for God’s will to be done and committed the outcome to Him.  The doctors started the anesthesia and my conscious involvement was over and done.  But recovery is not so simple.  Every day involves waiting, waiting for ‘things to happen,’ which are very important, but which may not happen as the doctors expect, hope and anticipate.  There are very few actions I can take to help the recovery process, but those actions cannot ensure results.”

I am thankful that God has facilitated my recovery, and I am thankful for my friends and family who continue to support me as I am in this recovery process.  They haven’t forgotten me now that the event of my surgery is past, but I would suggest that almost anyone who goes through a significant life event may also have an equally important process that follows.  Don’t forget about that person who just had surgery, or an accident, or the death of a loved one.  He/she may be going through a very significant process in his/her life, the outcome of any part thereof may be every bit as consequential as the event itself.

In the realm of Christian experience a parallel may be that there is often a great deal of focus on the event of a person turning to put his/her trust and belief in Jesus Christ.  That event, or experience, is highly valued and celebrated, and it should be.  However, there is also a process which ought to continue from that point into the future.  That person should continue to follow Jesus Christ as one of his disciples, or followers.  Following Jesus Christ is a process.  It is not just an event.

I am thankful that the writers of the New Testament encouraged the followers of Jesus Christ to be praying for one another.  I need that reminder.  I need to be reminded to pray for others, not just when they are going through significant events in their lives, but also as they go through the routine and seemingly mundane processes that make up our everyday existence.  I am thankful that my recovery has been “uneventful,” that there have not been any complications or problems, that the doctor and nurses gave me a “thumbs up” at my follow-up appointment a week ago (my body appears to be healing well, and no cancer was found in the numerous lymph nodes which were removed), but I realize that it is all because of God and what God was doing in the processes that were taking place in my body.  I will close by thanking all of you who were (and are) praying for me as I go through this process of recovery.  May I, by God’s grace, likewise be faithful in praying for you, as you go through various events and processes in your lives, as well.

Solving a Maze

January 16, 2012

The last couple of weeks have been interesting.  It has been very much like trying to figure out a maze on paper.  With a pencil one tries different paths and then finds that one after another, each path seems to be taking you to a desired end, but instead leads you to the same place, a dead-end.  In diagnosing medical conditions, doctors need to rule out improbable causes from probable ones.  It is interesting when you are the patient.  Each test could lead to an answer to the puzzle of what’s wrong with you.  As you go through each test you weigh all the “what ifs,” both good and bad, for what that test could reveal.  You don’t want to become too “invested” in the results of any particular test because you know that another test could invalidate any earlier conclusions.  This is the maze that I have been living for the last couple of weeks.

Many paths have been tested; but the results have been inconclusive.  After my colon cancer was diagnosed on December 15 I had a CT scan to see if the cancer had spread to other organs.  Good news, it hadn’t.  Then a second pathologist interpreted the biopsy.  Bad news, confirmed, it was cancerous.  Then I was given a blood test to see if there were any indications of cancer.  Good news, there weren’t.  Then I had another (abbreviated) colonoscopy. Good news(?), the ulcer was not found.  Then a PET scan.  Good news, no cancer found.  Then I was given a DNA test to see if the biopsy was someone else’s.  It was mine.  The sequencing of all these tests was giving the impression that there definitely was cancer in my colon on the day of colonoscopy #1 (December 13), but the cancer seemed to be off the radar from then on.

With each test, I couldn’t help but “imagine” what results (a) versus (b) could mean.  Naturally I was thankful for every result that indicated “no cancer.” But the seeming contradiction between the initial diagnosis and the follow-up tests was hard to reconcile.  On December 15 I became aware that God telling me it was time for a detour from the predictable (see “Detour Ahead, Exit Now,” below).  My mind was racing, thinking of all the ways my life could go with a cancer diagnosis – Metastasis? Chemo? Radiation? Surgery? Numbered Days?

First I wondered about metastasis and very numbered days, then I wondered about errors, “Whose biopsy was it?”  “Did the doctor make an error? Or the lab?” Then I wondered if God might have healed the cancer.  The result of every test could have been (a) versus (b) and it was hard to not reach premature conclusions whenever a test result came back.  I was wrestling with the questions, “God, what are you doing?”  “What’s going on?”  “God, have You, in fact, healed me? Or have You not, and would I be foolish not to pursue the recommended medical advice?”  “Or if God really had healed me, would I be foolish to let them remove one side of my colon, as a precaution, ‘just to be sure?’”  [I certainly didn’t like the last idea at all!]

I knew that when King Nebuchadnezzar threatened Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego with death they acknowledged that God could deliver them miraculously, if He would so choose, but they didn’t know if God would (Daniel 3:17).  Similarly, I knew that God could have healed my cancer after it was first diagnosed, if He wanted to, but I didn’t know if He had.  Many people were praying for me, and I would imagine that some were praying for God to heal me.  However, from the beginning of this journey it has been my prayer that God would do according to his will with the result, not necessarily of my healing, but rather with the result that He would be the most glorified by what He would choose to do in my life.

I knew that the Bible recorded that God used hardship in the lives of many of his servants for his purposes, even though his purpose was often hidden from the view of the particular servant.  I wondered what God was going to do in my life.  Would I know his purposes?  I had many questions, and no idea of what the doctors were going to conclude, or if God was doing something miraculous, or where God was leading.

However, last Friday (January 13) I had colonoscopy #3.  It was a full colonoscopy, and myRoswellParkdoctor was able to find the ulcer this time.  After the procedure she said, “I found it, it is small, and that is good – but it needs to come out.”  Then, all of a sudden, it became clear to me that the other “paths” in the maze, some of which had appeared to be very appealing, were dead-ends.  God now seems to be showing me, “This is the way, walk in it.”  So, in this I will rejoice and continue to pray that God will do what He will so that He might be the most glorified.

“Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.”

Habakkuk 3:18